Banned from Target.

[Patalrob]

This letter was recently sent by Target's Head Office to my house

Dear Target customer,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Target
Card, the Manager of our store in Blaine is considering banning you and
your family from shopping with us, unless you stop using inapropriate store behaviour.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our
surveillance cameras:

1. April 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. May 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. May 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine
products aisle.

4. May 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
"Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. June 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. June 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and
told shoppers they can come in if they would bring sausages and a
Calor gas stove.

7. June 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help , you
began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. July 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, picked your nose, and ate it.

9. July 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants
were.

10. August 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme.

11. August 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.

12. August 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
"PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. August 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices
again."

And; last, but not least:

14. August 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a
while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."

Yours sincerely,

Charles Brown
Store Manager

[Steve@Tasca]

You really have WAY too much time on your hands

[Patalrob]

You really have WAY too much time on your hands

What didn't you notice all the dates are from this past summer?

[focinite]

aint you some sorta law offical??????????? thats bad ass!!!! i like the wet floor on carpet

[Monkey Gein]

that's not for real. but still funny as hell

[Steve@Tasca]

aint you some sorta law offical??????????? thats bad ass!!!! i like the wet floor on carpet

So does Target have your home address on file?

Think about it

[rbrommel]

if that were real, it's be hilarious

[ZX2_racer]

funnay, but older than the internet.

[o2designs]

Number 10 for the win.

[04svt]

funny thing is...i work at target,as security

[Patalrob]

funny thing is...i work at target,as security

Where at????

[04svt]

The world may never know!!! Hahahahaha! But seriously...we've actually seen some of them! Lol

[CJGSAY]

The world may never know!!! Hahahahaha! But seriously...we've actually seen some of them! Lol

And did nothing but shine a flashlight in the offenders eyes....

[04svt]

A bright as hell 95 L.E.D. Flashlight! Lol hahaha!

[o2designs]

Target needs bouncers? I guess WalMart has door greeters. About the same...



LOL