Banned from Target.
Posted: Wed Jan 07, 2009 11:07 pm
This letter was recently sent by Target's Head Office to my house
Dear Target customer,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Target
Card, the Manager of our store in Blaine is considering banning you and
your family from shopping with us, unless you stop using inapropriate store behaviour.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our
surveillance cameras:
1. April 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. May 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.
3. May 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine
products aisle.
4. May 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
"Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. June 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. June 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and
told shoppers they can come in if they would bring sausages and a
Calor gas stove.
7. June 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help , you
began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. July 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, picked your nose, and ate it.
9. July 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants
were.
10. August 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme.
11. August 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.
12. August 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
"PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. August 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices
again."
And; last, but not least:
14. August 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a
while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."
Yours sincerely,
Charles Brown
Store Manager
Dear Target customer,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Target
Card, the Manager of our store in Blaine is considering banning you and
your family from shopping with us, unless you stop using inapropriate store behaviour.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our
surveillance cameras:
1. April 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. May 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.
3. May 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine
products aisle.
4. May 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
"Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. June 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. June 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and
told shoppers they can come in if they would bring sausages and a
Calor gas stove.
7. June 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help , you
began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. July 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, picked your nose, and ate it.
9. July 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants
were.
10. August 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme.
11. August 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.
12. August 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
"PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. August 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices
again."
And; last, but not least:
14. August 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a
while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."
Yours sincerely,
Charles Brown
Store Manager
