Alright. I'm pretty sure we all hear some strange stuff throughout the day at work or otherwise. Let's hear the best (worst) of it.
Friday during Manager's Meeting at work:
(store manager) Would you close your legs!!!
Friday night at home:
Are the homies still upstairs? I want to molest the homies!!
Quotes of the Day
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- and so it lives.
- Posts: 1383
- Joined: Tue Aug 12, 2003 9:24 am
- Location: Mayer, MN
Some of you know the type of work i do is mostly with police departments and other entities that require fingerprinting for employment or booking purpposes.
(Customer)Yes, we require a replacement part because a suspect has released his bodily fluids onto our card printer.
(Chief of police rep)Our fingeprint technicians are the lowest demoninator of people; they would be fired or have been fired from McDonalds.
(Customer)Yes, we require a replacement part because a suspect has released his bodily fluids onto our card printer.
(Chief of police rep)Our fingeprint technicians are the lowest demoninator of people; they would be fired or have been fired from McDonalds.
Slower than your stock focus.
Heard in the background while on the phone with fellow manager from the Maple Grove Ultimate:
"Hey, yours is poking out a little"
"Hey, yours is poking out a little"
Believe me- after 8 1/2 months and 4 engine blocks, the car definitely earned the name Debacle.
I don't like Tom (and neither should you).
I don't like Tom (and neither should you).
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- Posts: 1166
- Joined: Fri Sep 05, 2003 9:43 pm
- Car: 2007 Ford Fusion SEL AWD
- Location: Ramsey, MN
- Contact:
One the phone with a customer today who had a really bad case of spyware
Customer:
" Ok I just deleted my Internet Explorer folder from my program files folder to get rid of the spyware and Internet Explorer, so now how to I reinstall Internet Explorer"
Me:
Under my breath "Ok great u fucking moron" "ummm... well sir you just killed your computer, you'll have to buy a new one, have a good day"
Customer:
" Ok I just deleted my Internet Explorer folder from my program files folder to get rid of the spyware and Internet Explorer, so now how to I reinstall Internet Explorer"
Me:
Under my breath "Ok great u fucking moron" "ummm... well sir you just killed your computer, you'll have to buy a new one, have a good day"
=badge_profile_pic&items[]=badge_mobile_status&layout=vert&format=png] Josh's Ass Pucker Pick of the week!
2007 Ford Fusion SEL AWD
No mods yet, but you never know...
2007 Ford Fusion SEL AWD
No mods yet, but you never know...
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- and so it lives.
- Posts: 1383
- Joined: Tue Aug 12, 2003 9:24 am
- Location: Mayer, MN
My employee the other day, "Damn i took a shower but my ass still itches."
Slower than your stock focus.
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- and so it lives.
- Posts: 1383
- Joined: Tue Aug 12, 2003 9:24 am
- Location: Mayer, MN
One of my employess seconds ago:
"I pee on the livescan"
"I pee on the livescan"
Slower than your stock focus.
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- Posts: 1166
- Joined: Fri Sep 05, 2003 9:43 pm
- Car: 2007 Ford Fusion SEL AWD
- Location: Ramsey, MN
- Contact:
me: "ok now, got to your start button, and then go to programs, and then cisco vpn client"
the advisor on the phone: "ok I pushed the start button but then my computer shut off"
after a while back and forth I got the advisor to admit she pushed her power button on her tower, she admited to not ever using a computer before.
the advisor on the phone: "ok I pushed the start button but then my computer shut off"
after a while back and forth I got the advisor to admit she pushed her power button on her tower, she admited to not ever using a computer before.
=badge_profile_pic&items[]=badge_mobile_status&layout=vert&format=png] Josh's Ass Pucker Pick of the week!
2007 Ford Fusion SEL AWD
No mods yet, but you never know...
2007 Ford Fusion SEL AWD
No mods yet, but you never know...
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- Posts: 76
- Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2004 8:13 pm
- Location: Prior Lake
- Contact:
not really a quote but kinda funny at the time
went to a house on a search warrant, we were looking for a male suspect, we go to the door and a female answers, we ask for (male suspect) female says he is not home, we provide the warrant papers. as we go through the house a female exits the bathroom, we ask what her name is, she answers (deep male voice) come to find out the male suspect we were looking for is a cross dresser!!!!!
like i said it was funny at the time
went to a house on a search warrant, we were looking for a male suspect, we go to the door and a female answers, we ask for (male suspect) female says he is not home, we provide the warrant papers. as we go through the house a female exits the bathroom, we ask what her name is, she answers (deep male voice) come to find out the male suspect we were looking for is a cross dresser!!!!!
like i said it was funny at the time
All said by a female friend last night:
"I'd like to show you my new move, but I can't with my pants on"
"STOP! You're getting me all wet"
"Quit playing with me!"
Which all sounds great and good when taken out of context, but that's it. The pants comment was in regards to showing me a new martial arts kick that wouldn't work so well with skin tight pants- the 'wet' comment was because I had just washed my hands- and I can't remember exactly when the 'quit playing' comment came up.
"I'd like to show you my new move, but I can't with my pants on"
"STOP! You're getting me all wet"
"Quit playing with me!"
Which all sounds great and good when taken out of context, but that's it. The pants comment was in regards to showing me a new martial arts kick that wouldn't work so well with skin tight pants- the 'wet' comment was because I had just washed my hands- and I can't remember exactly when the 'quit playing' comment came up.
Believe me- after 8 1/2 months and 4 engine blocks, the car definitely earned the name Debacle.
I don't like Tom (and neither should you).
I don't like Tom (and neither should you).
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- and so it lives.
- Posts: 1383
- Joined: Tue Aug 12, 2003 9:24 am
- Location: Mayer, MN
Just heard!!
Diane-"Oh my god it's so long!"
She was talking to my employee Rodney, about his spider plant.
Diane-"Oh my god it's so long!"
She was talking to my employee Rodney, about his spider plant.
Slower than your stock focus.
How about this one...
"Sharon Peters must be related to Sandy Cox"
"Sharon Peters must be related to Sandy Cox"
2004 Focus ZX3 2.3L Duratec
"If at first you don't succeed, try management."
"If at first you don't succeed, try management."