"He's lactating cheese curds!"
-at the bar about a week ago.

"It's easy- meow, clip clip clip"
- A slightly anebriated Tim

Hey, that's the day after my birthday!

Oh yeah, and pulp in orange juice is stupidest damn thing this side of an oxygen bar!! Who in their right freakin minds wants to chew their freaking breakfast drink?!? "Sweet Child of Mine" is one of the greatest songs of all time.

I just thought I'd let everyone know that I'm not exactly sober right now. Not that anyone really wanted to know that, but I felt it was my duty to share with the group. Where is Eric not sober?!? He's not sober while sitting in a hotel room in Thorton, Colorado. Why there?!? Because I've been here ...

"Dude, I gotta slow down. My sock is falling down."
-Angie

Well, the old jack gave up the goat not much more than a year after getting it for Christmas. I decided I'll probably continue to need a jack for some time so I might as well get a decent one. So last night I picked up this baby: Craftsman 3000 lb jack This one actually fits underneath my car! No mo...

"He should be fine for a few days. I left him two bowls of food and the toilet seat is up."

-Angie at the bar last night.

"What's bad is I was just air-humping you and all you have to say is: 'Did you just say five o'ten'."

Said to me at work today

"I was wondering why I was getting turned on just walking around. I forgot that I was missing some hair"
- a female friend.

"Can you believe that Joe's Deli is out of pork rinds?!? I'm so mad."
- coworker this evening.

Hey, I'm pretty sure I still have a spare flex-pipe from FocusSport in the garage if you need that.

noresull wrote: ... and my new 2005 ZX3, but the new car blew it's clutch ...

OK, I take everything I said in the past about you buying a manual back. Maybe you should have stuck with the slushbox.

You're crazy dude! That's awesome.

Oh and I'll buy a free beer to anyone that brings me a single girl that's within my age range. Can I legally offer that? OK, so how exactly does one BUY something that's already FREE? Doesn't sound like much of an offer if you ask me. You'd think with as long as it's been you'd be able to come up w...

Look at you and your bad self! Happy Birthday Yo!!!!